Dear Isabella,

I am so sorry. My heart broke for you when I read your letter because I know you don’t want this and yet you do it anyway to protect Taylor and give her a better life. I want nothing more than to return that room with you, to our bed and our stories and our walks. I found peace there with you that had previously escaped me, a peace I now find in these letters.

More than that, I watched you grow strong, Isabella. Strong enough to do anything. Dance, study, make friends. Be my friend, my greatest friend. I admire that strength and I know it will keep you moving forward. And just because we can’t go back, that doesn’t mean we have to go it alone. Just like I told you.

I’m here for you and I always will be. So, write me. Tell me everything and let me help you bear this burden. I miss you.

Yours,

Violet

The next 7 days passed painfully slowly as Isabella waited for her fateful meeting. She spent nearly the entire first week tucked away in her room once more, trying her best to shut out the world beyond her doors. It felt like so much of her progress had been undone, which only added to her frustration. Of course, she wrote Violet the next night after she’d found the unfortunate news. Then she kept writing to her every single day thereafter. Part of her felt bad she was sending her friend so many letters, but it was honestly the only thing keeping her from breaking down into tears every time she thought about what her future would hold. 

She didn’t really expect Violet to keep up; her messages were more venting than anything else. However, much to her surprise, two days after that first letter was sent, a reply came. Then another the following day. Then another. Each day another reply came, which meant that Violet was writing as soon as she got one, just like she had before and each one soothed Isabella. Gave her breath when she had none. Helped her remember just how far she’d come. 

That first one had been especially wonderful and alleviated Isabella’s fears, especially since she had no idea how Violet would react to the news of her engagement. Would she even answer? Would she be sympathetic? Would she encourage Isabella to do her best regardless of how she felt? Would she be…jealous? Or was that simply Isabella projecting her own feelings? She knew if the opposite were to happen, Violet sending her a letter detailing someone she found to be with, it would break Isabella’s heart. Again. Which she knew wasn’t fair. She wanted her friend to be happy…it was just, well she wanted Violet to be happy with her. Was that so selfish? Since she’d received that letter, Isabella read it at least once a day. Often more in addition to others that eventually came.

It was a few days later that she summoned Heidi to her chambers one morning, intent on getting out of her room. “I would like to get dressed please, and take a walk. Maybe tour the grounds?” She’d taken to exploring the school after Violet left and her father’s estate provided much the same opportunity. She may as well take advantage of it and try to distract herself. Besides, it would do her some good to get out and take in some fresh air and sunlight. 

“Oh? You do? Yes, of course! Right away,” Heidi replied, nodding her head with a glint of excitement in her eye.

Isabella’s decision seemed to also put a little pep in the handmaid’s step. Perhaps she was happy that the young woman wanted to actually do something for a change? Isabella could tell Heidi had been worried about her once she’d taken to being a recluse again. Either fearing for Isabella’s mental state or annoyed that her job would become more difficult. The Isabella of old would’ve said it was the latter, but now she had a feeling it was the former. Heidi had been nothing but sweet to her since she’d been back, even these past few days. So, perhaps she owed it to the older maid as well to try and do her best.

Once Isabella was dressed, she and Heidi made their way from her room and out the large front door. Luckily, it was nice out and the little nip in the air but it made the additional layers of clothing Isabella wore that much more comfortable. After taking a deep breath, she nodded and then began heading down the steps before turning right and letting her feet carry her toward no particular destination. After a few feet, she turned her head and took in the sight of Heidi next to her.

“How long have you worked for my father, Heidi?”

She didn’t answer right away and Isabella could tell she was doing math in her mind. Which meant it had been some time now.

“Let’s see, at least twenty years. Twenty-two if I’ve got my months and math correct.”

Twenty-two years?! How had she endured that long with Isabella’s father? “And you’ve enjoyed your time here?” She must have if it had been that long, right? However, Heidi only shrugged.

“It’s had its ups and downs. The work isn’t overly hard and your father compensates me fairly. There are only a few times throughout the year when it gets busy. When he has guests, for example.”

Well, that made sense. Besides those times there were extra people around, the house staff mostly had an empty house to take care of. Especially when her father was away traveling. Which happened a lot, as far as Isabella could tell.

“I see…” Naturally, her thoughts drifted back to Violet, to her first handmaiden. Would she be happy if she stayed doing it for that long? Twenty years at Isabella’s side? Of course, she didn’t really want Violet acting as her maid. That had been a fiction meant to conceal her true purpose. But, if Violet could stay with her like that, living that lie, would she be happy? Maybe. However, that wouldn’t make Isabella happy. Knowing she caged another like that due to her own wants and desires. No, she wanted Violet at her side as her partner, not her prisoner.  

“Is something the matter, Miss?”

Heidi’s voice brought her from her mind and Isabella smiled nervously before nodding her head. “No, I’m fine. Sorry, I was just thinking about a friend.”

“The same one you write all those letters to?”

Ah, so Heidi noticed those? Of course, she would, she was in charge of all the staff around here. There was probably very little she didn’t see. “Yes, I miss her a lot. She’s very important to me.”

“She must be. I’ve noticed you getting a lot of replies as well. You two must’ve grown close at school.”

“Close…Yes.” Only close enough to fall in love. Isabella didn’t know why she was sharing this with Heidi. Maybe she just wanted someone to talk to about it like with Ashley, the other unfortunate victim of her writing tirade. Of course, this time she wouldn’t share everything. She couldn’t risk this particular piece of knowledge reaching her father.

“It’s hard to be away from the ones we care about, isn’t it?” Heidi asked into the silence.

Isabella nodded in agreement but, before she could respond further, she heard the whinny of a horse and the sudden stop of a gallop. One that sent the rocks and pebbles of the path flying in all manner of directions. After recovering, Isabella turned to see her father atop a large, white stallion. “Good morning, Isabella. It’s nice to see you out and about.”

Isabella took in a deep breath and crossed her hands in front of the purple dress she wore before willing herself to be calm and measured. “Good morning. Yes, today seemed like a nice day for a walk.” 

“It is, I only hope you maintain that energy for when our guests are here. I don’t want you hiding yourself away from your new family while they visit. It would be a shame to waste all those things they taught you at that school, not to mention the tuition and the cost of the tutor.” 

He said this all with the same casual smile he always wore. Which irked Isabella that much more. How could he be so casually cruel like that? Was he trying to get a rise out of her or was he just that oblivious? It really made her want to reach up and knock him off that damn horse. Maybe he’d break his stupid neck and free her from this curse. What did she care about being ladylike? Did it matter what she’d learned at that school? Who cared about the costs or the tutor? She did. She cared about Violet and couldn’t dishonor her hard work by being vulgar now. 

“Of course, father.” Isabella at least managed to force the words out in a halfway convincing manner. At least she hoped so.

“That’s the spirit! Now, enjoy the rest of your walk and I’ll see you at lunch.” With that, her father dug his heels into the horse’s sides and sent it running off. Isabella watched him go, the only change in her demeanor was the slight narrowing of eyes as he faded into the distance. She could do this. She would do this because Violet had given her the strength to. That certainly didn’t mean she liked it, though. 

Once her father was out of sight, Isabella let her body relax and she turned her head to regard Heidi. “Shall we continue our tour?” 

The older woman nodded and indicated forward with a slight tilt of her head. “I think that’s a wonderful idea, Isabella.” Before they set off, Isabella felt a hand come up and gently pat her arm a few times. Not overly affectionate or familiar, just enough to get the point across. 

Eventually, the fateful day came and Isabella stood beside her father as a carriage made its way down the long path from the front of the estate. After it stopped, the first person to emerge was a tall man whose overall age must’ve been around her fathers. Considering the slight wrinkles around his eyes and gray streaks that ran through his black hair. His features were overall hawkish, and his eyes continuously scanned his surroundings while he waited for the others.

Next was an older woman, petite and clothed in a truly stunning turquoise dress. Her chestnut hair was tucked up into a matching hat and she looked younger than the gentleman Isabella assumed to be her husband. Finally, a man appeared from inside. His height was closer to his father’s and he shared that same black hair. His face had lost that innocence of youth so many men still seemed to carry even into their twenties but his features were softer, like his mother.

Frederick.

Her father informed her of his name some time ago and Isabella could feel her stomach churn now that she finally saw him. Overall, he was pleasing enough to the eye but she would stop short of calling him attractive. Well, to her. No doubt he was popular with other young women but he would find no such sentiment from Isabella.

One advantage to being a demure lady was that Isbella didn’t have to talk much. Besides the standard pleasantries, she did her best to appear as much like the young noble she learned to be. And hated every minute of it. Which stood in stark contrast to her father, who greeted his guests with that same jovial nature. After ushering them inside, they all sat and ate lunch. Which was almost exclusively punctuated with the musing of the two older men. Business trips, high profile deals, prized purchases. It was all mind-numbing. On top of that, Isabella didn’t have much of an appetite.

Throughout the meal, she didn’t even bother looking up at Frederick where he sat across from her. Instead, she mostly stared down at the food she was only moving around on her plate. Once, Frederick’s mother tried to strike up a conversation but Isabella couldn’t be bothered to keep it afloat. She just didn’t care about the latest fashion trends or hobbies of a proper lady. At least the woman had the sense not to bring up Isabella’s own mother. Had she known? How much had her father told these people about his daughter’s past?

After the meal concluded, Isabella and Frederick were permitted the opportunity to take a walk together in the garden. And by permitted, she meant her father practically shoved them out the back door. Under supervision, of course. Not that there was any reason that was a concern. At least from Isabella. After excusing themselves from the table, she, Frederick, and Heidi made their way into the expansive garden that sat on the backside of her father’s mansion. Outside, the head maid dropped back far enough that she wouldn’t overhear any conversation while still being able to see them. However, there wasn’t much conversation to snoop in on. It must’ve been a whole five minutes before Frederick finally cleared his throat.

“I love the nip in the air,” he said while glancing around. “Fall is my favorite season, you know. Winter isn’t so bad either.”

“Is that so?” Isabella kept her eyes forward as she spoke and, even though her words had been a question, her tone betrayed not even a hint of curiosity. “I much prefer spring.” She was probably being a little cruel to this poor man but what did it matter? Should she flatter him? Laugh at awful jokes that would surely come? Feign interest in the things he did? Both hobbies and work? It was pointless; their lives had been decided. Their fate had been sealed. They would be together no matter how much Isabella liked (or hated) him.

Throughout their walk, Frederick managed to coax out a few more statements or observations from Isabella. She even managed to scrape together enough willpower to ask one or two questions of her own. Though, she didn’t really listen to his answers. Finally, when they had made a full loop and ended back near the entrance into the house, Frederick turned once more and sighed.

“Look, we may not be each other’s first choice but such is the way of things. We should make the best of it.” Yes, such is the way of things. Isabella would have no say in this. Would have no happiness or excitement except where it would leap up at her from the letters on her desk.

When it became apparent, he would not receive any kind of answer, Frederick shrugged and brought a hand up to rub across the back of his neck. “Right, well. I’m sorry it had to be this way. That you will never know love.” Isabella found it interesting that she was the only target for that sorrow. Did Frederick already have someone in his life that he loved? Or would he simply do as he pleased when he found them while she was expected to remain at home, waiting for him to return?

“You are wrong.” Isabella couldn’t help herself, she simply had to correct such an absurd notion. “I have known love. In fact, I still know its warmth. It fills me and gives me strength. Gives me hope. No one will take it from me, either. Not you or my father. No one.” She could see his eyebrows lift in surprise but, before he could answer, she stepped past him and into the house in a huff, Heidi quickly following behind.